Count Your Thanksgiving Blessings

As we make our plans to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday with  family and friends, take the opportunity to reflect upon the  lyrics for the old church hymn "Count Your Blessings".  All of us have blessings despite the circumstances of our lives. So start counting and share with others!

When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

Refrain:
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God has done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.

When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings—money cannot buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Have a Blessed and Happy Thanksgiving!

Robert Parlante
November, 2014

Author Interview with Christian Book Distributors

Just posted my author interview with Christian Book Distributors (cbd.com). Check out the latest on Patch Town: A Letter from Miss Wingate.

Tell us a little about yourself:
I am married to Angela and we have three children and nine grandkids. I was born at home in a coal mining community located in the anthracite region of Pennsylvania. I crafted my first short story when I was 13 years old ,and I have never since put down my pen ... well today it would be my laptop. I was a food researcher, technical writer, a manufacturing site manager, a director of external affairs for a major corporation but the most satisfying vocation of my life was being a minister.

What was your motivation behind this project?
I concluded after years of pastoral care ministry that many problems faced by people are rooted in unresolved anger and lack of forgiveness. I speculated what if someone from the past came forward years later and asked for forgiveness. What would I do? That question was the genesis of my book Patch Town.

What do you hope folks will gain from this project?
I pray readers will experience God's grace and mercy as they experience forgiveness when they reach out to those who may have hurt them.

How were you personally impacted by working on this project?
I realized I had harbored past hurts and anger that interfered with my spiritual well-being and growth.

Who are your influences, sources of inspiration or favorite authors/artists?
My favorite author is Robert Whitlow. I also enjoy some books written by Nicholas Sparks, and I like the writing style of Jan Karon.

Anything else you'd like readers/listeners to know:

I named characters in my book and its future derivatives after my nine grandkids. I warned them though. The characters are not them, and do not have the physical appearance or personality. I just thought it was a fun thing to do. Hope they are not disappointed. I made sure I did not name any villains after them!

Robert Parlante
October 24, 2014

WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER?

I did not use scientific statistical methodology. The sampling was way too small but that did not stop me from using bad science to reach quasi truth about human nature. Spin doctors and politicians do this all the time, but that does not make it right.

Despite the unsound approach I arrived at the following conclusions.

When someone mentions that they had read my book Patch Town – A Letter from Miss Wingate, I asked them a question: Who was your favorite character in the book and why?

Excluding “Martin” the principal character in the book, the next most favorite person mentioned was Sonia Washington who runs the senior adult care home in Shanks Patch. The reason for her popularity is that she is spunky and knows how to pull things together quickly and efficiently when the moment calls for action.

Therefore people like spunky people, despite the bad science used. Well, sort of!

One poll result I recently saw suggested most people do indeed like spunky people (however one defines “spunky”). But get a little too spunky and you turn off people. Sonia has just the right blend of spunk. I guess that’s the key balance goal for all of us.

The second feedback relates to Sonia’s ability to rise to the task set before her with limited resources or time. In the novel she cooks a great Thanksgiving meal on short notice. She knows how to acknowledge value or a blessing when she encounters them.

The part I like best about Sonia is that she was the initiator of the plot. Her decision to write a letter triggers the entire plot. The second best thing I liked about her was that she captured the heart of Leroy. Miss Spunky meets Mr. Spunky! The conclusion: spunk is attracted to spunk.

If you have read or planned to read Patch Town – A Letter from Miss Wingate let me know who is your favorite character and why.

Robert Parlante

September 2014

From Failure to Forgiveness to Freedom ... and Fiction!

Many of us have likely had this experience. Someone approaches you for counsel or advice and begins the conversation with, “I have this friend who is going through this or that problem, and I’d like to help them with this issue.”

After the problem is shared, the person asking then says, “What should I tell my friend?”

Oft times the “friend” reference is a way to conceal the fact that the person seeking your counsel and the so called “friend” are one and the same. I've been through enough pastoral-care sessions to conclude that creating a substitute focus is a defense mechanism to get answers while keeping the focus off the person and their issues. I understand this approach because I've employed the technique at times in my life.

When I decided to write a book about moving from failure to forgiveness to freedom, I had to decide what genre I would use to help people confront the personal hurdles they face. I decided to use fiction even though I could have taken a non-fiction pastoral approach with Scripture references and results from life experiences. But some people are not open to full discussion in a group study format where the focus could be so direct on the group participant.

I chose to approach the issue through fiction. That’s why I wrote the fiction book Patch Town-A Letter from Miss Wingate. People are more comfortable when they comment on a fictional character’s successes and failure. There is a built-in separation between the reader and the character in the book. We learn through the character’s responses how to approach life-controlling issues. We may even conclude the character’s responses make sense. And we might even consider applying those steps to our own lives.

The approach is less threatening, and we don’t need an imaginary friend tagging along with us.

The Bible is certainly the go-to non-fiction book when dealing with life issues. Do you also feel a fictional approach to learning has merit? Drop me a comment!

Robert Parlante

September 2014

Just Say "YES!"

A few weeks ago our granddaughter got engaged and is now planning a late February 2015 barn wedding. For those new to the idea of a barn wedding, your mind may be visualizing animals roaming the dance floor or some other stereotypes associated with farm life. The barn that our granddaughter and her future husband are using is brand new, never saw an animal except the human party-types, and was built as a wedding venue.

The future groom’s actual proposal was fun and captured on video. The future bride and groom invited both sets of parents out to an Italian restaurant for dinner. After the meal was completed and coffee was poured, the young man turned to the father of his intended wife and asked his permission to marry his daughter. He did not even formally propose yet and tears started flowing.

He then got down on one knee and proposed marriage to our granddaughter. That’s when the customers in the restaurant began to clap in unison and chant, “Just say yes!” Over and over, they chanted. Talk about pressure to say “YES.” The proposal turned into a group event.

Our granddaughter and her future husband are in love with each other, so saying “Yes” was never in contention.

Actually Jesus Christ offers his love for us because his desire for each of us is to establish a permanent union between him and individuals ready to make a commitment. He’s waiting for us to say “Yes”.

Ephesians 28 reminds us “God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God.” Just say “Yes” to that gift.

Hebrews 11:6 – “And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.” Just say “Yes!”

James 4:8a – “Come close to God, and God will come close to you.” Just say “Yes” and draw close to him.

Hebrews 12:1-2 _ “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.”

Robert Parlante

August 2014

A Sample of Patch Town

On August 7th the kindle edition of book 1 of Patch Town became available. The print edition is due October 1st. The link to Amazon for Patch Town is

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MJ5YQCM

Below is a sampling of the opening chapter titled A Letter from Miss Wingate.

  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.~ Colossians 3:13, NIV   

     "The unopened letter stood in the middle of the kitchen island where Martin Gilmore had tossed it aside as an unexpected reminder of his past. Since its arrival, the letter felt like a throbbing thorn in his finger. Instead of being a reason to show mercy toward Miss Wingate, as his wife Sarah would likely have encouraged, it was more a reminder of what might have been had he never encountered Elizabeth Wingate.

     Martin heard the Lancaster Herald morning newspaper land with a soft thud on the front steps leading up to the wrap-around porch. He glanced out the window and saw the delivery van make a swift U-turn and work its way down his driveway through the patches of early-morning September mist. When the vehicle reached the main road that encircled Lake Windermere, it turned right and faded into the fog hovering along the shore line.

     He slipped two slices of whole wheat bread into the toaster before he went outside and picked up the newspaper, anxious to scan the weekend classified pages. The moist air felt clammy against his face. The weather forecast predicted heavy rain starting early in the morning and into most of next week. And the sudden appearance of that letter still felt unsettling, like a thunderous cloud ready to burst open with angry rain.

     When he got back inside, he could smell the satisfying fragrance of toast. The coffee-maker wheezed and sputtered with steam, announcing the end of its brew cycle. He poured a cup of coffee, its stimulating aroma giving little encouragement to open that letter delivered in yesterday’s mail from his old 8^th grade teacher."

Robert Parlante

August 2014

Why Is The Table Vibrating?

We recently had our granddaughter and her UNC student friends over for lunch after church on Sunday. They were a spirited group of young people whose conversations can bounce from one topic to another without missing a beat. Topics ranged from the latest people in their lives, where life was taking them, and can I have another helping of spaghetti and meatballs. If you want to stay awake and remain savvy, then hang around with some young people. Their energy is contagious.

But then a strange phenomenon occurred. I felt vibration rippling through the dining room table. I first thought it was a minor earthquake, but the vibration never came to a complete stop. I thought maybe it was my imagination or the air conditioning blower fan was wobbling.

I asked my wife, “Do you feel that?”

“Feel what?” she asked, encouraging everyone around the table to go for second helpings of food. (Those who may have eaten in an Italian heritage household know there is no point declining to eat anything else. Even if you say no, you are still going to get a second helping heaped upon your plate!) Food is far more important than a vibrating table.

Back to the vibration ___ when the table was set there was a bread plate on the left and glass for drinks on the right. As each young person sat at their place, they all positioned their iPhones set on vibration mode between the bread plate and the glass.

Throughout the entire meal, every phone on the table at one point or another vibrated with incoming messages. When all phones vibrated in unison, the water in my glass actually had ripples moving across the surface like I was casting stones into a lake. The incoming text messages never stopped.

Young people can be amazing. They can look you straight in the eye, answering your question, while at the same time their fingers nimbly text back messages with nary a glance at the phone keyboard.

Cell phone and tablets are here to stay. Whether we like it or not, older adults must adjust to the new paradigm of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and everything else out there that may seem like noise on some days.

Embrace the future. Overcome your fears. Get you grandkids to help you sort things out.

Just jump into the fray and start making ripples!

Robert Parlante

July 2014

Now Live on Amazon

Patch Town - A Letter from Miss Wingate is now live on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Patch-Town-Letter-Miss-Wingate/dp/1620202905/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1406206432&sr=1-1&keywords=patch+town+parlante

Official print release date is set as October 1. The ebook is going live before the print edition release.

It was a long and hard path getting to this stage, and I keep staring at the computer monitor thinking I'm still dreaming. While I'd like you to read the novel, (and hopefully are blessed by it!) there's another message with which I would like to encourage you. Never give up!

I've been writing since I was 13 years old, always dreamed of writing a novel or two, but never accomplished that task until now. We all use typical excuses to accomplish a late life goal. When I got to that Y in the road years ago I should have taken the one I chose not to take at the moment. With late life comes the usual concerns like age, illnesses and family responsibilities __ all of which can sidetrack our dreams and goals. But the things we are passionate about do not necessarily diminish with age.

After you read my novel I would like you to remember two things. The character Martin Gilmore in the story had to overcome monumental hurdles to move from failure to forgiveness to spiritual redemption. His success as a person ... as a believer ... took commitment, support and perseverance. I hope your future dream gets accomplished the same way!

Robert Parlante
July 2014

FACT or FICTION

One of the earlier comments from my publisher Ambassador International about my novel Patch Town was the work read as an autobiography. The main character and I do share some common elements. We are both male, lived in Pennsylvania and spent our childhood in a coal mining community. I emphasized it is fiction. But like any writer, it is difficult to ignore one’s life experiences even when you are a fiction writer.

Then I found myself trying to think of all the people who entered my life and contributed their support and encouragement to this book. I have been writing since the 7^th grade so I found that task formidable. Through my decades of life as a husband, father, friend … as an engineer, minister and writer … there are just so many people who touched my life in different ways. I am sure their influences, their words in passing and their different physical makeup, even their spiritual lives, have likely found their way into my characters, the way they live and the hurdles they have to face and overcome.

Those I have met along the road of life did not set out intentionally to pour an experience into my life so I could incorporate it into a novel decades later. Something far greater had to be there to pick and choose, refine and rewrite, rewrite, rewrite! That honor belongs to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He has been steering my ship of life since I was a young man.  I believe He orchestrated my novel and its plot lines. To Him be all the glory.

It takes a lot to live with a writer who easily gets frustrated by the difficulty of the creative process, the endless hours stooped over a laptop and the restless nights while plotting story lines in my dreams. One of the first things I do early mornings is to sit at the computer and try (not always successful) to remember what I plotted through the night.

By the way, I named characters in my first book, and its future derivatives, after each of my grandkids. I warned them though. The book characters are not them, and do not have their physical appearance or personality. I just thought it was a fun thing to do. They can’t wait to read the book due sometime in September. Hope they are not disappointed. I made sure no villains were named after them!

Robert Parlante

July 2014

Prevent Brain Drain

Recently saw a sign in front of a school that said Prevent Brain Drain __ Read, Read, Read.

Brain-drain is sometimes referred to as “human capital flight” usually involving a mass emigration of technically skilled people from one country to another country. Brain-drain can have many reasons __ political instability, lack of opportunities, health risks, or personal/spiritual conflicts.

The first reaction I had to the school sign was true human capital flight is not easily solved by reading. In fact, the more one reads the more likely you would entertain the idea of moving from one country to another for one's livelihood.

The school sign actually used a clever play on words to encourage student reading over the summer vacation.

Now let's merge the brain-drain school sign with another piece of information that recently crossed over the Internet. Christians are becoming more and more biblical illiterate. Believers are forgoing bible study for lighter studies, typically a book written by some “successful” pastor promoting the latest model to attract millennials, grow church attendance or increase financial commitment.


Joshua 1:8 encourages us to read the right material and reminds us what the outcomes will be when we focus on the Word of God.

“This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.”

What ever happened to the biblical model clearly detailed throughout Scripture? Is it too simple or old fashioned? Has the bible lost its attraction and the power to change lives and communities?

Bible reading apps are readily available to help us get through the Bible over some time frame. But one has to be careful the medium does not become the message. Reading the Word without studying the Word may not be enough. “Day and night” means just that __ day and night! And not just occasionally.

Want to prevent Biblical brain drain? Read, read, read and then study,study,study.

Robert Parlante

July 1, 2014

FEAR and TREMBLING

Book 1 of my Christian fiction series titled Patch Town recently completed the editing stage and is now in the creative stage where the layout and book cover are established. I am looking forward to a mid-September launch of my first novel. When the editing stage began, I faced the process with some degree of fear and trepidation. Nobody likes criticism even when it is repackaged as “constructive criticism” which somehow is supposed to be more palatable.

Writers tend to be defensive of their prose, and editors are supposed to be the “culprits” who suggest rewrites, make punctuation changes and require clarity. The first steps in this process are nerve-wracking because you feel like a child about to be disciplined by a parent. You know you’ll feel the pain, but you can’t always figure out the reason why.

At my publisher Ambassador International I was blessed with a great editor. She was a pleasure to work with, and I did not question any suggestions or changes she made. When I read the final clean copy I was surprised to see how much better the manuscript had become. In fact, I dropped her an E-mail and said she had taken something I thought was good and turned into something great (at least from my perspective).

Then I thought: What was the point of all that fear? Does it serve any purpose?

Philippians 2:12-13 reads: “Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed — not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence — continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.”

In these Scriptures verses Paul can hardly be encouraging believers to live in a continuous state of anxiety and worry. There are too many other verses that speak about peace and joy of being one with Christ.

I believe Paul is exhorting us to press forward to bring our Christian walk to fruition and completion as much as we humanly can. In order to do this, we need a healthy fear of offending God through disobedience and a respect for His majesty and holiness. I expect when I stand before the Lord one day, I will be trembling, not out of fear, but more because I will be in awe.

Bottom Line: Some things are worth fear and trembling. But it has little to do with selecting the right verb.

Now, is it laying or lying down? Affect or effect?

Robert Parlante
June 21, 2014

An Angel in Red Square on May Day

I believe I may have met an angel in Red Square on May Day while on route to my final destination in Siberia to minister to Russian school children.

It was the first time a May Day celebration was held without the usual military display of Soviet Union military power. The day was a mixed bag with old line Communists standing on a soap box extolling the glory of the former days. This was contrasted by young people who were experiencing joy for their first taste of freedom from totalitarian rule. In the midst of all this was a small band of believers led by Scott Temple who traveled from the other side of the world to distribute Bibles to anyone in Red Square who would take one.

There were the typical delays. The shipment of Bibles did not arrive. There were not enough people to distribute Bibles because of the surge of request. There were people who liked us being there. And there were people who definitely did not want us in Red Square!

The small missionary team gathered in a small circle to pray for success and the enlightenment of the Russian people.  We were feet from Lenin’s tomb. The prayer in English began with weak voices barely audible in the noisy celebratory surroundings. When we opened our eyes we noted the circle was growing larger and larger as more Russians joined the circle. I looked like the circle exceeded 100 people at its peak. Our prayer leader asked for a translator, and seemingly out of nowhere came a tall Russian woman who volunteered. As she began to translate the prayers into Russian, it seemed like her voice could be heard across Red Square, drowning out noisy protests, music and soapbox speeches. More Russians joined the circle. When we finished, she disappeared into the crowd as instantly as she appeared.

To me she felt like an angel. She was gone with no opportunity to thank her, no chance to introduce ourselves, no request on her part for anything.

Hebrews 13:2 reminds us: Don't forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!

Have you ever thought you had an angel experience? Why not encourage each other by sharing that moment.

Robert Parlante

May 2014

The Kingdom of God is Like "The Pop"

As a teen, I helped my older brother build a row boat in the basement of our home. It was a long and slow process because we had to save enough funds to purchase wood for the project. That took time. So the boat building proceeded piecemeal, but finally we rejoiced when the project came to completion. The boat was christened “The Pop” in honor of our father.

It was my father’s idea to have a picnic at the lake where we would launch the boat. My brother and I were excited until we tried to get the boat outside. Our basement had one small door to the outside and when we tried to take the boat outside for its debut it would not fit through the door. No matter what angle we tried, no matter how hard we pushed, the boat was not going to go through the door opening. The boat had to be disassembled, brought outside in pieces and reassembled again.

The day of the picnic finally came with my father inviting most of our extended family living in the area. We all lined up along the shoreline for the launch and there was much excitement, but my brother and I were reluctant to get into the boat. My excuse was I was not a good swimmer. Can’t speak for my brother, but he built most of the boat so that says something.

My father decided to be the brave one. (He was born and raised in the mountains of Italy miles from any water, and I had never seen him swim up to that time) I had reservations about his bravado. He entered the boat like he was the captain of a luxury Italian cruise liner, as we pushed him out toward the wider part of the lake. The boat hadn't sailed but 5 feet when it immediately started taking on water and sank into the sand. (The lake was less that 1 foot deep at this point so my father did not have to swim back to shore after he disembarked.)

Upon reconstruction of the boat outdoors we forgot that every sealed joint we had made was now compromised. So much for launching The Pop! It never sailed again.

Today I see another lesson in this story that relates to the kingdom of God. Within the walls of many churches we plan and construct all kinds of strategies to reach the lost, but as soon as we try to bring it to the street we can’t get “through the church door” to the outside where it can serve its goal. Too many places are content with the program, the planning and the crafting without much thought to the outside where it counts the must.

The second lesson I see is if you do manage to get the outreach effort through the door, sometimes the attempt is ill-conceived, full of holes and will sink with failure.

What do you think? What’s the best way to reach the lost?

Superman & What If?

I was always fascinated by Superman. At one point in my life as a young boy I was convinced I could fly from the top of the steps to the second floor of our home to the bottom without ever touching a step. In hindsight I must have dreamed that feat because every time I tried to fly from the top step to the bottom, I failed (for obvious reasons!).

This failure to fly did not stop me from trying to replicate Superman flight with my friends. We would jump off boulders. We would jump off a swing when it reached its highest point of the arc. We were daring enough to jump off a picket fence. We knew we could not fly but our desires had not yet been convinced.

Then came the ultimate challenge, when we dared each other to jump off a second story porch. When you're looking down 7 ft. or so, it took great courage to take the leap of flight. We all had successful jumps the first time around which only emboldened us to reach for further success.

Then there was the double dare to jump off the top rail of the porch banister, the height now looking more like 10 ft. I took the challenging, climbed up onto the rail, looked down and changed my mind. I was not that crazy!

Then the worst possible nightmare happened. I don't know if it was an accidental bump or a purposed push by one of my playmates, but I fell off the porch railing. I hit the ground with my left arm and shattered many bones. I spent weeks in the hospital, with multiple surgeries, and months of therapy to regain use of the mangled arm.

But more than bones were shattered that day.

I emerged from the event as a stutterer which almost destroyed my life. (How I overcame that speech impediment is basis for a future blog.)

The speech difficulty lasted almost 10 years with growing anger for the kids who bumped or pushed me. That anger continued into my adulthood every time I thought of the incident. But one day I asked the question … what if the persons involved came now into my adult life at this very moment and asked for forgiveness? What would I do?

That’s the question I would like to pose to my blog community. What if someone who hurt you deeply in the past came forward after many years and asked you for forgiveness __ what would you do?

I’d like to hear from you. Won’t you share your thoughts?

Click on COMMENT below and drop me a line. Please remember what you write will be open to public view. No names or graphic specifics. Just write about yourself, your struggle and whether or not you would forgive the person(s).

Robert Parlante

May 2014

The View From My Bookcase

Occasionally, I come across books I really, really like! My friend Wendall (“Windy”) Woodall just published one such book titled Shuffle: A Way Forward, Whatever the Challenge.

It's an excellent book about Windy dealing with an unexpected diagnosis of early-onset Parkinson's. At times he experiences humorous moments as he confronts the difficult issues of chronic illness and depression, and finally comes to profound truths rooted in the Word of God. The book encourages readers, through one man's journey, to spur our spirit to move forward with all of our strength despite any hurdles we encounter. The principles and truths Windy chronicles can be applied to any difficult and unexpected life-change. The book is well written and comfortable like your best friend is having a heartfelt conversation with you.

Here’s an excerpt from Windy’s book:

The day I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s … I spoke with my wife first. That was a no-brainer. I called my parents and then spoke with my three daughters. We talked with teary eyes and cracking voices, but no one lost control. That’s just not our family.

From there, the news spread rapidly, and that was OK with us. Many well-meaning friends and family members began to contact us. They wanted to show their support and express their condolences. I was grateful for each one. I really was. As you can probably imagine, in my circles there was a lot of talk about prayer and healing and miracles, all of which I am highly in favor of, just for the record. (Did you hear that, God?) I can attest to the fact that I have already greatly surpassed the Apostle’s Paul thrice-prayed plea asking for God to take this away from me. If the total number of prayers has anything to do with getting an answer, I’m quite sure I’m in the running.

Yet, as a pastor who has visited the sick and the dying throughout decades of ministry, I have seen both sides of the coin as far as answers are concerned. This person was healed, and that one was not. God seemingly listened to his prayer but not hers. One dear friend got the miracle while another friend was not so blessed. Why the disparity?

The truth is: I have no idea. How’s that for a theological answer? Anyone who says they do is deluded or a fraud. Is that too much openness and honesty? I know that my “I have no idea” is a very unsatisfying explanation for anyone struggling through the disparity question. Believe me, I know. But the answers that I’ve been given over the years are just as unsatisfying.

One person says, “It’s because you don’t have enough faith.” But I think even I could come up with faith the size of a mustard seed. (Google that phrase if you don’t understand the reference.) Another says, “It’s because you have sin in your life.” Guess what? We all do. If perfection is the prerequisite, then none of us should expect an answer to prayer.

I think the reasons are much more complex than the feeble ones we tend to offer. My suspicion is that it has something to do with the tapestry of history that God is putting together and the appointed times in which we were all destined to live.

Perhaps Gandalf the Grey, one of my favorite philosophers, said it best in “The Lord of the Rings.” Frodo lamented to him: “I wish none of this had happened.”

“So do all who live to see such times,” Gandalf wisely responded. “But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”

It’s what the Apostle Paul said in Acts 17:26: “From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands.”

It’s what King David wrote in Psalm 139:16: “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” I’ve come to believe that God is orchestrating the details of my life, “for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health.” I know which three of those pairs of ideas I would prefer for my life, but that’s not for me to decide.

Maybe Jesus said it best: “He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous” (Matthew 5:45). Life brings us both. My part is to choose how I will respond and live out the time that is given to me.

In my mind, I always come back to Paul and his thorn in the flesh. He asked for healing, but he was only promised grace: The grace to endure it; the grace to complete his mission in spite of it; the grace that was sufficient enough to see him through to the end, without his health restored. I know some of my friends who don’t believe in God would say that I’m merely explaining away the unanswered prayers, and, quite frankly, I have to admit that they certainly have grounds to believe that. But for me, it was not that Paul’s prayers went unanswered. On the contrary, God does answer—Paul even quotes it—but it just wasn’t the answer he had hoped for. He asked for healing, but he was only promised grace. Is the latter not God’s answer, as well?

Hope you enjoyed reading the excerpt. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has ever been overwhelmed by the circumstances of life.

You can purchase the book at amazon.com or from Highway 51 Publishing at hwy51.com.

Robert Parlante

April 2014

New Beginnings

I wrote the following Forward for the book titled Your Perfect Father, Learning from the Best written by my friend Jayne Wilks and published by Tate in 2007.

WHY GOOD FRIDAY IS GOOD

Good Friday is one of those distinctive days in the church calendar when we commemorate the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. Beyond the message of God’s redemption and personal salvation, we develop unique memories associated with the day. Growing up, I remember not being allowed to go to the movies that day or listen to the radio out of respect for Jesus’ death. If we had owned a television back then, that would no doubt have been restricted as well. I felt it always rained or was gloomy on that day as if the world was in mourning. Good Friday was one of those times you wanted to get through so you could move on and celebrate Resurrection Sunday.

Those memories took on a new direction eight years ago when I met Jayne Wilks for the first time at a Good Friday evening service at Englewood Assembly of God. I was an associate pastor responsible for pastoral care at the time. As the congregation sat solemnly through the service, it was difficult not to notice her sitting in one of the back pews. She looked bent over, as if carrying a most burdensome weight upon her spirit. It seemed like she cried through the entire service.

At the close of service and as people slowly dissipated, I felt the Lord prompting me to talk to her. I introduced myself. Through her tears, and with a tentative voice, she shared the burdens of her life. She told me about her anxiety disorder, depression, drug addiction, suicide attempts, and traumatic childhood. She was an unbeliever married and separated from a backslidden believer. She was emotionally unable to work and had to move back recently to her parents’ home. She was now living with her two children in the den of that home. Life could not be any more desperate. She was powerless and held captive by life-controlling problems and poor choices from her past. An acquaintance had taken her to church that evening. She figured she had tried everything to dull the pain of life; why not give God a try?

I prayed for her and left her with one message that evening: God can change your life. He may do it in an instant; he may choose to do it over a period of time. I did not know the timing, but I knew if she continually read and heard the Word of God, her mind would be renewed and she would become all God intended for her and her family. Isaiah 42:7 reminds us that the Lord will “open eyes that are blind … free captives from prison … and release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness.” That was a promise from God for Jayne Wilks.

I saw her again at church on Easter Sunday. I saw her the following Wednesday evening for Bible study, and then the next Sunday, and the next. Over the years I’ve known her, I can hardly remember a time when the church doors were open that Jayne and her family were not in church. And for the longest time the tears never stopped flowing, even while she was sitting through all those church services. Yet God never failed; he always sent into her life the right person at the right time for the right purpose.

Life for Jayne did not change in an instant. Years of sinful and self-destructive behaviors resulted in consequences that needed a constant touch of God’s grace and mercy. When tears seemed inconsolable, God was faithful and sent witnesses into her life to help wipe away tears, to build hope, or to lift arms too heavy to raise and praise. Through it all, Jayne learned an invaluable lesson that we, as readers of Your Perfect Father, Learning from the Best need to live wholeheartedly. When we are willing participants in God’s restoration process, we learn more spiritual lessons, and God takes us farther than we could ever imagine.

When we are like Jayne, once living in the dark dungeons of life, desperation necessitates cooperation because the consequences are destructive. But for many of us whose lives seem acceptable, trusting God totally becomes a challenge. It is sometimes easier to experience God when you are laying in the gutter or sitting on an ash heap. The key is to see God in the small and mundane things of life, like picking splinters out of a child’s finger or burning dinner. Frequently, that is where spiritual lessons are learned but are often bypassed because they seem so ordinary.

We are all God’s kids; we all have a perfect Father. He knows best how to discipline us, to order our steps, and to mold us into his likeness. Jayne’s walk with God took time. Soon after we met, my wife and I counseled her about seeking a job to support her children. I learned she was a creative writer and a gifted artist. I felt that one day, God would use those talents for his greater good. This book is a testament to the leap of faith I experienced that day. It was also during that meeting I learned about her husband Shannon, an alcoholic off doing his own thing. I asked her two questions: Do you still love him? The answer was yes! Do you want to preserve the marriage? The answer was yes!

We prayed for Shannon and the restoration of his life and their marriage. The following Sunday, he walked into church with Jayne and their two children. At the altar call we prayed for Shannon. That day is a moment indelibly marked in my spirit as a demonstration of God’s power to restore what seemed impossible. Within a short period of time, Shannon was healed completely from alcoholism. Today, their marriage is a witness to the glory of God.

I have worked with Shannon and Jayne for years. One of the greatest joys of being in ministry and part of their lives was the time we co-facilitated small groups focused on life-controlling problems. Then one day it came to pass, like a parent releasing their loved one into adulthood. Restoration, perseverance, and obedience prepared them for maturity. They began to facilitate groups on their own. They guided other couples going through difficult marriages, and participated in ministry as God called them. They were given into the Lord’s service. I am privileged to have played in their lives a small part of God’s work in … opening their blind eyes, releasing them from the prison of addiction and mental illness, and releasing them from darkness into the light of Jesus’ love. Today, you most often find Jayne and Shannon smiling, not crying, and telling others what a difference Jesus and the word of God have made in their lives.

As a minister of the Lord, I have read the text books, I have prepared the Bible studies, and I preached sermons. Still, God used Jayne to teach me a lesson beyond Bible School training. Jayne believes every word in the Bible with childlike faith. If it says so … then she expects it to happen and come to pass in her life. And indeed, it did and continues to do so according to God’s will and timing. I pray all of us would live out our lives with this childlike submission, trust, and obedience.

So what are my unique views of Good Friday today? It is no longer about radio or television, or cell phones and DVDs. It is not about rain or shine. Today, there is not a Good Friday that passes that I do not think about the transformation of Shannon and Jayne and their children. What Jesus did on the cross of Calvary was not a momentary stop on the church calendar to get us to Easter Sunday. Good Friday was necessary for all the promises of God to come to fulfillment in our lives.

God bless each and every reader of Your Perfect Father, Learning from the Best. May you find this journey through someone else’s life-change an inspiration and an encouragement.

Robert Parlante

April 2014