Put on a Happy Face

You have likely heard or read it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown. One Internet source I read indicated it takes somewhere between 17 to 26 muscles to smile and between 43 and 62 to frown. Given the gap of effort and the amount of human energy we save using less facial muscles, why do I see so few smiles as of late. I’ve heard the argument that it takes more muscles to frown, uses more energy, burns more calories and potentially helps you lose weight. That’s a spurious conclusion and does not justify frowning.

There are enough good reasons to frown. You cannot live life without encountering hurdles that wipe the smile off our face. Watching a news telecast is enough to put on a frown. Following politics, no matter which party you align with will wipe a smile off one’s face faster than you can say Democrat or Republican. The breakdown of family and the society as a whole is discouraging. There are plenty of reasons not t0 put on a happy face.

I attend a gym frequently and normally hold a door open for a woman or a senior adult. Too many times, the person passes through with little or no acknowledgement. There’s just the whoosh of them making a mad dash for an available treadmill. No “thank you” and not too many smiles.

I find people are suspicious and assume you’re up to no good or you are looking for something. Maybe it happens so few times, the person does not know how to react. They may even think the gesture is chauvinistic which it is not. I was raised to be polite. Old habits do not die easily.

When someone says “thank you,” it restores my hope in the human spirit. When someone smiles, flashing their pearly whites for some meager effort, I wish I could say what I’m thinking. “You should smile more often! You have a beautiful smile!”

Here’s a Scripture verse to meditate upon on your worst day, full of frowns: Proverbs 15:13 “A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed.”

Rejoice, be thankful and be glad! It may overcome some of the sorrow of our hearts! We may even find ourselves smiling just a little bit. It’s a baby step, but who knows where it may lead.

P.S. Am I just being too Pollyanna? What’s your view?

Robert Parlante
October 2016

Frankenstein Walked Me Home

Recently attended a book-to-film presentation at our local library branch. After discussing the author and the original book, a film version was presented for contrast. The book was Frankenstein by Mary Shelley and published in 1818. The movie was the 1931 film of that book with Boris Karloff playing the monster.

Mary Shelley had a difficult life and one could see how that life provided inspiration for the idea of a scientist piecing together body parts to create a new life.

I saw the original 1931 version about 15 years after its debut. It was the first horror film I had ever seen. I was a young boy living in a coal mining community. Every week, a man would come to the community house, put up a white sheet on which a film would be projected, all for ten cents. I still remember sitting through that film terrified and almost afraid to breathe. The scene where the monster throws the young girl into the lake where she drowns stills scares me.

The hardest part of seeing the movie was having to walk home in the dark after it had finished. My friends and I walked as a group. There was nervous laughter as if that would eliminate the threat. Members of the group peeled away to their homes. I was the last one left and had to walk alone. It felt like Frankenstein was walking right behind me. I ran along the dirt road to my house, daring not to stop and look back.

As adults we sometimes walk through life like a Frankenstein is behind us, nipping at our heels. We have all been there. Here are a few thoughts to help you deal with the monsters from the past that still try to overcome us with fear.

Frankenstein is a fictional fabrication. But not everything that haunts us in real life is fictional. There are real painful moments in people’s lives that keep resurrecting itself and jumping out at us from a dark place. I handled my fictional monster my running, not stopping and not turning around.

Consider the opposite. Stop and look fear right in the eye! Arm yourself with Ephesians 6:14-17.

Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

There is no need to be afraid. You have all what it takes. You are never alone

Robert Parlante

October 2016

How to Convert your Home into a CVS Drugstore

Some years ago we lived in a multi-family home with our daughter, her husband and their three children. We had this living arrangement for about 10 years. One of the grandkids could easily work their circuitous way to our side of the house without going outside.

Our grandkids would frequently want to visit our “side” of the house. They would first work their way through their garage, then the shared laundry room, into our garage to the door into our apartment. The living arrangement was perfect, with separate living arrangements and complete privacy.

Some evenings, there would be a knock on the door (they were not allowed to walk in without knocking) and one of the kids would say, “Grammy, do you have any Scotch tape?”

“Sure, in the drawer next to the kitchen sink. Do you want something to eat?”

“Poppy, do you have a cover for the report? By the way, could you read it and make it better?”

“The covers are in the middle drawer of the desk. What’s your report about?”

The ongoing joke was our grandkids think we were a well-stocked CVS drugstore! And we could meet all of their needs. I then realized I stumbled onto a great idea. Have a lot of reasons to have your family (grandkids) and even friend knocking on your door looking for something. It’s cheaper than the real CVS, and it forces them to spend some time with you.

Here are some suggestions to stock your shelves like a CVS store.

1.      Stock frozen pizza, ready to heat up and serve at a moment’s notice.

2.     Learn to hem trousers, fix faulty seams and remove stains.

3.     Buy a stapler and have a supply of staples.

4.     Have an array of paper clips, book covers, tape, glue, craft paints, glue gun.

5.     Have a supply of Tums for upset stomachs.

6.     Have some reading material to pass onto them.

7.      Learn how to search the Internet to help with homework.

8.     Always have something sweet to serve.

9.     Have a top of the line computer they cannot resist using.

The list is not exhaustive. But hopefully you get my point. Be creative and select items that fit your circumstances.

Remember the most important shelf item is you. Encourage their visits, their sharing, and try to determine their needs beyond the obvious paper clip.

Robert Parlante

October 2016

Travelling with a Friend

On November 27, 1920 after a long journey across the Atlantic Ocean, my father landed on the shore of this great country and entered through Ellis Island. Some years ago, I was able to retrace pieces of the steps my father took from Perugia, Italy, the land of Francis of Assisi, through Paris to the Normandy coast where he boarded the Il de France for America.

I was able to find the passenger manifest for that sail, and there was my father’s name, a man of twenty-three, full of conviction, independence and dreams. In all of his dreams I doubt he could have envisioned who I am today. I am proud to stand on his shoulders, and I now look into the future, however darkly, and see a bright future for his grandchildren and great-grandchildren despite the gloom and doom of daily news about everything wrong with our society.

But as I went through the ship manifest, I made a startling discovery. I concluded it was one of the keys to a successful life journey. My father was traveling with his best friend. They remained friends until my father’s passing.

My wife is my best friend and a great traveling companion. When two are joined, the hurdles and burdens of life are manageable when you consider two views, two solutions, and two “recipes” to approach any problem. Out of all that stew comes the agreement.

But not everyone is blessed with a “travelling” companion. Well, that’s not exactly true. Here’s a suggestion. Go to You Tube and listen to the hymn “What A Friend We Have in Jesus.”

There is never a time in life when we do not have a friend or travelling companion.

Have a life of dreams and convictions.

If you enjoyed reading this blog, share with someone!

Robert Parlante

October 2016