A deteriorating mind is not the only failure that must be dealt with. Family dynamics become strained because different members believed they have answers, or worse, thought that people were overreacting, and that my mother was not that bad off.
My mother was living alone in an apartment about
150 miles away from where I was living. While on a business trip one time I
decided to stop by to say hello. That’s when I had a reality check. She tried
to cook a meal but could not quite remember how to use a gas stove. There were
medications strewn about the floor. She accused the paper delivery boy of
stealing what little money she had.
The hard choice had to be made. My mother had to
be transferred to a special memory loss nursing home. Before that, we had tried
having her live with a family member. That did not work as she frequently
wandered away from home. The next step had to be taken. My wife and I got the
job of placing her in a nursing home. It was one of the most difficult steps I
ever had to do.
In 1983, President Reagan designated November as Alzheimer’s
Awareness Month for good reason. Caregivers, family members, friends all struggle
dealing with this disease. You’ve heard the phrase, ‘It Takes a Village to
Raise a Child.’ From my experience it takes a comparable village … a team of
family members to handle a patient with Alzheimer’s disease.
Take this month to appreciate and recognize
caregivers. Send a note card or a small token gift. Let the caregiver know you
are praying for their strength and encouragement as they face the slow agonizing
journey to the end.
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